Every now and then I lose control of my goals and my discipline. Well that isn't very good to start with, but although I do lose them I sorta find a way to get back to it, for example a girlfriend talk, or maybe a bro motivational talk something like that..

How does that work you asked?

You see, I wander off my goals and sometimes it'll take just a small reminder about what I want to do to start it all again.

Come to think of it, maybe I should put up posters in my house that says "Visual designer" put it every FKING where HAHAHAHAHA

That might be a wonderful solution to it thou.

Anywhoo, I wandered off due to the off days I had during Chinese New Year, man that sucks I know Jesus Christ it's just a few days and I've lost it already that's bad I mean that IS bad.. 

But yes, I got it back and it's show time in a few hours.

Ciaossss - Jordan

I get it now yea.. I fucking suck, I can't figure out my priorities, I can't make my girlfriend and parents happy I can't do anything I suck I'm sorry 

I'm not good enough for this, I tried my best but it's always not enough

Then will it be enough if I end myself?

I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want any of this to happen, I thought I was controlling it well.

Something's cannot be changed, like how other people try to change the fact that I love you so much, indeed I do love you so much. 

😔

Well.. It's kicking in again.. Fuck..

I'm sorry, I'm worthless

I feel so lucky to have you around dydy I love you #drunkblogs

I'm now imagining that I'm in a crowd of fans that love my work, they're applauding, cheering, shouting my name... Damn that feels good doesn't it?!

I'm going to achieve that, and achieving something isn't hard nor is it easy, stay focused, work towards it, be obsessed with it and have faith. I'm going to get there, one day.

And I will, prove everyone of you wrong that designing won't get you anywhere, just watch me.

Imagined my motivation backed this morning, missed how it feels like to be motivated. 

Whether you tell yourself you can or you can't, you're right

I am going to regain all motivation, and I will. I am going beat you all down. I will be a successful designer, I am going to be, I need to have faith and work towards it. Have faith in yourself Jordan 

I was too satisfied, and then something bright me down to my knees, but I didn't quit, i can't quit. 

After yesterday I have lost everything

I had lost all motivation 

Be obsessed with it, have faith and it will come truth

Believing is seeing, because you will see what you believe in. 

Fuck my life la

I just want to be in peace fucking he'll leave me alone la cb