A whole week with you, it's just like getting married, spending our days together. I love you dy

Annoying grandma is annoying as hell Jesus Christ 

And yes I want to fix my body clock so that I can be on time with what I want to do simple because we humans only have 24 hours each day. Once we use it it's over, we're not getting it back.

Ever feel like you're determined to do something but not willing to put in the effort? Yeap, I'm determined to change my body clock but I'm not willing to put in the effort.

“…If you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the world to your desires.”

Malcolm Gladwell,  Outliers: The Story of Success 

Fuck me I don't want to get paralyzed no fucking way

What if my back gets worse, and I get paralyzed, there may be a chance doctor said..

I just wanted to hear your voice and see you for a little while

Fitness

Always go for the most economical choice.

Dy, I miss the fragrance of your hair, the softness of your lips and your smooth and silky skin

6 hours of sleep

I'm listening to Arnold Schwarzenegger's book "total recall"

It's about his career as a body builder, movie star and so on, it's pretty good and motivating. Yall should get a copy of it 😊

So fucking pissed with no reason whatsoever, wtffffffffffffff why am I feeling like this

I'm breaking apart already..

😞😞😞

I want a change, number one will be how I portray myself as a man

I want to be the one that does it starting from today 

If it was easy, everyone would do it.

Kinda figured out why I slacked out so much, I didn't plan my days out, I didn't have goals, but now I planned it out and I have my goals and i hope that I can get back on track. I'm gonna do my best and be motivated

Worried about you

Tell me, not drop bloody hints for me to find out because I won't.

Ahh yes staycation, I must say it has been a really good staycation for both of us, dy and I.

We left our homes at 10?? Then chilled with cz for awhile and made our way to little India at 1130

So here's the thing, we booked our staycation on the 1st, so the hotel asked the time of book in, we said 3am, that being said, we reached little India at 1130 so we tried our luck to book in before 3am

Turns out that we can only book in the at 2 pm then we were like fak me we're dead.

Of course we booked another hotel, it's called bunc 

It's quite decent, we chilled till like 630 for our breakfast then after that we went to sleep, booked out at 11

Went for lunch at the Thai restaurant near NAFA then booked in at vintage inn (the one we were suppose to go)

Then we chilled there, watched white chicks while dy was sleeping, then woke her up with kisses.

Yea of course we did our couple stuff there, but it isn't really the best place to do it 

After that we went for dinner, mmm mmm that was the bomb 

This Indian cuisine was fking awesome, the restaurants name was "aromas of India"

We had butter chicken, fish Briyani and cheese nuns.

After dinner we went up to the hostel to do our couple stuff again and then cuddled for awhile then head off to sleep.

We were suppose to have breakfast at 830am but we missed it hahahaha

Then we booked out and went home.

So yea that's basically what we did during staycation and it has definitely brought us closer as a couple.

I love her so much

Blogging again tmr when I wake up

These past few days hasn't been really good to me.

emotional and emotionless

I've been in this stage before, it's a stage were I start to lose my emotions and become a selfish ass bastard that doesn't feel anything.

I'm not letting that happen because I have a girlfriend to let her feel as if she's the luckiest in the milky way.

Lost myself today at dinner, let's not talk about that..

Dy forgave me, I appreciate your forgiveness so much dy 

I love you

Please have faith in me, if not I'll fall and tumble and crash and burn into something useless

What else could I have done?

So later on at 1230

there's a competition 

and I'm taking parting in it.

The best part is

It's my first competition

Holy shit

I'm nervous.

Jason is having high expectations (my partner)

And I'll do my best later on

Gonna chill and have fun later on.

I have no rights to be disappointed because I've disappoint her so many times and it's just a competition anyway... And it's also our 2nd month.

Its all about money money money money money. Wouldn't it be good if I was the grandson of yeos/Far East organization? 

Ha, stop dreaming motherfucker, you gotta work your way up bro.

Well I'm gonna say that I do not deserve this shit and now I'm gonna give good results and receive back even better fking results.

What you give is what you receive.

I gave shitty attendance and shitty work and now this is what I receive, shit.

I don't know man, I don't know what's gonna happen in my life, I have to set my goals but it's all fucked up right now.

Stop having self pity, stop being sad, make people happy and you will be happy

“Sometimes, when a person is about to tell you something that’s going to change your life, or make you cry, or make you leap for joy - sometimes you know it before they say a word.

It’s in the way they look at you and the way they open their mouth. It’s in the tilt of their head, the tension in their hands, or the slump of their shoulders.

Times are, you don’t need words to hear a thing.”

Rebecca Hahn,  A Creature of Moonlight 

“I felt myself melting into the shadows like the negative of a person I’d never seen before in my life.”

Sylvia Plath,  The Bell Jar 

“Following straight lines shortens distances, and also life.”

Antonio Porchia

I'm hooked so badly, I wanna quit but my mind is stopping me.

URGH

Well it seems like I fucking suck because I can't do what I say. 

I should start reading quotes from tumblr again :)

How to stop smoking? :(

words that i have to kick it into my head.

Imagine the satisfaction you'll feel after going through 2 years of animation.
You hated it but you did so well, imagine how proud you'd be, & you'll see how much you've grown.

............................................................................ <--- my emotion right now.

Seeing her for such a short time wasn't enough.

At least the level of missing her lowered..

Annndddddd it's coming back right now.

Nitec cert with a 2.5 GPA, then I'll go fking NAFA. Fuck this shit it's just one more year of animation hell.

I'm lost 

I'm not sure if I'm able to do it 

I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know

Hi dy 😘

So these few days was all about being strong mentally. Fighting the urge to smoke, meeting up on time and going to school. 

I gotta say, it's fking unpleasant to fight the urge to smoke, and in coping just fine. :)

Me and Amanda are fine, we fall deeper in love everytime we argue, have some lovey dovey time together or just sitting at the beach talking all day. I love that girl.

Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.

found my childhood back, Tarzan all day everyday.
i love the sound track, it makes me happier. because its that good. love it love it.
1. 2 worlds
2. Son of Man
3. You'll be in my heart
 all sang by the great Phil Collins.

Yesterday was damn good.
damn good, went to dy's house, had fun and felt loved.
i love that girl so much, im thinking about her most of the time.
she'll be in my heart.
Made an Immortal Rose for her hahaha!

she said she loved it!!! her words mean a lot to me.

Happy first month. 
i miss cuddling with her :(( #overlyattacthed 

I Love You dy. *hugs & kisses*

Maybe it's time to let other people read my blog.. Hmmmm...

Hi people of the internet it has been a long time!

I'm finally meeting dy and I booked her for the whole day HAHAHA

NO ONE CAN TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME AND TODAY SHE IS MINE.

SHE IS ALWAYS MINE.

Anyway, I've been jealous lately because she's kinda close to her guy friends and things like that, okay let's not say it as jealous, let's put it as territorial.

I'm territorial, not jealous.

Jealous is when you want something that's not yours, territorial is PROTECTING what's already yours.

So Amanda is mine and I'm protecting her because she's very very precious to me.

I Love that girl. 😘❤️

Dy I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you :(((

She opened up to a mussier Amanda YAY!!!!

Dy I gotta tell you, I love it when you kiss me continuously on my lips and cheeks and foreheads and my neck. I really do, fuck those people who don't. They don't accept the love like I do.

When we hug, I wanna carry you up like a little kid. HAHA!

I wanna hug you from the back, and I love back hugs hahahah!

I love it when we kiss, then our tongue goes in a certain motion. (TMI) meh only you're reading this anyway.

I love you

I love Amanda so much.

Recently, she gave me a talk, about how irresponsible I am. And honestly, that was the first time her words got into my head.

Some strucked me hard so damn hard that it made me completely speechless.

I'm lucky that I'm with a girl that's able to guide me.

Lucky enough to have a girl who speaks to me about my mistakes I mean, how often do girls do this?

It really got into my head dy.

I Love You so much, Sooooo much.

well I dont really have anything to say but ill just try to squeeze out everything.

nothing really happened this week, my attendance sucked really bad, like my average is 32%

look, i understand that my grades = future and future = career and no career = useless/death.

attendance is the number 1 factor i guess..

why did i even pick up animation...
should have gone to Visual Arts where i can express my art and learn the things that i want to know,
honestly, i think animation is not for me, im not a cartoonish/fun type of guy, im a quiet asshole that express only on paper unless you mean something to me.

im really fucked up with school work now,
drawing and designing characters, i cant do it, no matter how many times i practice and no matter how much effort i put into it...

im on the verge of quitting this course and wait till next year so i cant join Visual Arts
but i cant guarantee that i would get a seat in the course.
i dont know, i dont want to discuss this with my parents.

i guess ive been disappointing Amanda a lot,
me being such a fucking kid, come on jordan get your shit together for god sake.

dont know what the fuck im doing or why im doing it.
im so lost, so clouded and i cant seem to wake up from this mess.

Done - Jordan

I love dy so much
shes so adorable and lovely sometimes.
It feels good to read her blog all over again from the start.
its like my personal story book, i read and re-read all the time. it never gets boring.

I Love You Amanda. *forehead kiss*

No

No

And I can't stand you

Must everything you do make me wanna smile

Can I not like you for awhile?

 

 

 

 

 

 

HAHAHAHA I KNOW ITS ME DY COME ON ADMIT IT

Acceptance.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Acceptance.

Yesterday was really awesome.

Had a painting/drawing session at the airport with chai latte, I really enjoyed the company & it felt great to know that someone else has the same interest as me & how we both feel the same about so many things, I just didn't know how to express myself but I hope we can be friends for a long time.

 link http://averinewyou.blogspot.sg/2014_04_01_archive.html?m=0

Love is a powerful thing, an emotional but also physical bond between 2 people, who decides that they, yes, wants to spend their life together. 

 

- Amanda Ong

March 18th 2014

Well so today I screwed up big time.

I lost something that means so much to my girlfriend that It's somewhere equivalent to breaking her heart

I lost her bicycle

It has been with her since when she was little

Basically, it's her childhood bike

To you all readers (if there's any) it might be just a bike, but to her, it's not even close to what you can imagine

Honestly, i don't know how she's feeling right now because I have never lost something that's so important to me

And babe, I am sorry for my lack of responsibility and carefulness.

I will definitely learn from my mistakes and I truly hope that you will forgive me

Sincerely - Jordan 

I have got to change if not, I'll be an useless asshole who does nothing all day long.

Let's start off with being on time.

To Amanda

I just realized that I've found the best thing (well if not the best, it's gonna be close to THE best) that I can possibly search for, and yes I know that you're already predicting it's you and you're right smart ass!

Ok so, "why are you (close to) the best?" In case you asked. 

1. We love swimming

2. You have such beautiful personality

3. We're both idiots 

4. We have the same mood sometimes.

5. We're both wise

6. We love art 

7. We love eating sour and spicy food

8. We love chicken rice 

9. We love road trips (although I've never been on one.. Oh wait, does being on a bus count? Ok It does count. Okay I've been on a road trip, well at least to genting HAHA!) 

10. We have our peace and zen moments when we're submerged in water.

11. Gravity by John Mayer is our jam.

12. We feel kinda lost and one of the ways to get back on the right path is to help each other, by each other I mean You and I and I am willing to go for the extra mile to help you.

13.You've helped me sooo much and you've been there for me. 

14.Words can't simply express how I feel, maybe a part of it but not all.

I Love You.

Done - Jordan

30th July 2014

Hi.

I woke up with flu, sore throat and a slight fever. With that, I didn't go to school.

#iamdefinitelygonnagetdebarredfromlessons 

Went out at 5pm to meet my girl Dy at tampines.

I wanted to do something to make her day happier so I bought a flower for her HAHA!

Cherish it dy, that might be the only time I'm buying a flower for you. 😂

We headed down to one of the shopping malls there to have dinner (long john sliver)

I was planning to get a haircut but my uncle was leaving already so I didn't manage to get my bushy ass hair trimmed.

Took a bus down to the area where I live, then we decided to chill at the overhead bridge. That was dy's idea hahah! 

Anyway, towards to end, we were listening to gravity by John Mayer. Thank his parents for creating such a talented dude. Hahaha! After that headed home! 

Had an amazing time with dy. I Love You Amanda. 😊

Done. - Jordan

Hi guys

I've been busy these days so I can't really update you guys about what's happening.

Anyway, dy and I are doing fine, in fact even better than before haha!

20th July 2014 <--- the day she officially became my girlfriend hahaha

Ain't doing well in school, attendance sucks hahah dammit I should sleep earlier.

Chao!

HAAAAAPPY BIRTHHHHDAAAAAAY TOO MEEEEEEE!

well well well, look whose birthday is it? its MY birthday haha! otherwise known as the day that my mum experienced extreme pain while my head goes out of her vajayjay. Thanks mom!

 

And yes today i had steamboat! mmmm mmmmmmmm dem pig livers and abalones and chicken and prawn and many many other stuff ahaha!

 

thanks again to all my relatives who chipped in money to organize this amazing birthday celebration for me! it was beyond awesome. love you guys!

and also not to forget Dy, my girlfriend.

Shes been such an inspiration to me and now im sure to say that I Love her.

I really do. 

She spent the first hour of my birthday with me and gave a a little present that really means a lot to me. 

she gave me a letter. A HANDWRITTEN LETTER GUYS. HANDWRITTEN.

 

 

THANKS DY! MUAH :>

 

I received 90 dollars from my relatives and im gonna save it up for my tablet. well at least save 80 percent of it hahaha!

was suppose to meet dy but she had to visit her grandparents later on at 12pm and i would be selfish to not let her get some rest because her health is more important!

So about tmr, the boys, Raw Massive and I are gonna celebrate Shawn Ho's birthday!! yaaaay!!!

i dont know what time they're meeting thou haha!

Alright guys chao!!

                       

                      - Jordan.

Monday 7/7/14

Heyyyy waddupppp!

alright so what i did on monday was totally fun and at the same time physically tiring on my mind and body and stressful on my asshole.

so here's how shawn and I came up with the plan, we were kinda chilling at gerry's place and friday, and then out of a sudden he asked me
S"hey bro, are you free on monday?"
J"yea bro what's up?"
S"i was thinking that we can cook aglio olio together"

J"Sure! We can celebrate our birthday in advance also hahaha!"

S"Yea bro! I didn't think of that Haha!"

J"alright man! Sounds good!"

Yea so that was pretty much what we said to each other hahah!

on that day itself, we kinda tonned but i slept for like 45 mins hahaha!
so we met at like 630, chilled for awhile and then went to buy the groceries and around 9am,
after buying all the things, we headed up to his place to play dota for like a few matches, the best part is, we won 4 matches in a row hahaha! oh yes i forgot to mention that im a pro at dota HAHAHA!

so, at like 1230, we started cooking
we cooked the usual creamed mushroom soup and aglio olio, tbh the soup was THE best although it was kinda too salty, but yea it was still good.
for the pasta... ummmm we overestimated the amount of oil we should put in and then it turned out to be dammmmmnnnnn oily and we had to face to consequences, we shat our intestines out HAHA

so after that i went home to sleep and he also slept at his house.

we planned another cooking session on this friday again, hope it turns out good and lets hope that we dont shit our intestines out HAHA!

DONE - Jordan.  

hey :)

so i haven't been doing much these few days.
i have been doing nothing actually, chilling dancing playing dota.
gawd this is what life out of school's gonna turn out to be without a job dammit.

see, my life is as boring as a tortoise, chilling and playing dota is like me inside a shell and then dancing is where i come out of my shell and start walking.


i have to learn to converse omg if not ill just die in any relationship/friendship
I apologize for my lack of skills for conversing hahaha!
especially Dy, damn im quite a boring ass date.

I'm an introvert i guess, i like to shut up and stay around a corner and just spend time with myself. 

but

when dy's around, i'd like to just lay on her thighs and stare into her eyes because she's just soooooooo beautiful
now i understand why so many guys like her hahahaha!

well, I want it, i want you to be my girlfriend.
asking yourself whether youre ready to be in one doesnt help.
you yourself must know that you want it, youre able to give your all to the particular relationship you are in.
i am willing to give my all and i want it.
i dont wanna share dy.
you guys should probably stop hitting on my girl because its probably too late, imma make her my wife.
read that playas?
YOU BETTER DO.
Goodnight everyone.

oh yes dy, all the best for your game later :D

- Jordan.

It's not as simple as you think it is.

Saying I Love You too easily in the past because I don't understand what it really means but now, I kinda do and I'm afraid of saying it. 

I'm afraid that I won't be able to prove my words because in the end, it's all about what you do and not what you say.

I've not been able to prove what I say, for example, not buying cigarettes. 

I had to buy, because taking cigarettes from others is just too selfish.

I know, it's an excuse. 

It's really hard to quit smoking. 

1 day without nicotine can change my entire mood. 

I'll get irritated easily and I'll get super sleepy.

I need guidance, I need someone who can really tell me not to smoke.

This addiction has got to stop if not I'll be broke.

I'm sorry dy.

Now back to what I was saying.

I feel that when you say these 3 words out, you got to really mean it, not just saying, you have to show it.

Showing love is what I suck at, even at talking and keeping a conversation going.

So used to shutting the fuck up until I have absolutely no words to say to other people.

Well I guess I'll just have to learn how to converse better all over again.

How can I ever make her happy? 

A day full of training, chilling and working hard.

So today, I chilled at Gerry's place for a little while. We played nba and yes, as per normal I got trashed quite badly HAHA!

After playing, we headed down to nyp to bleakdlance. My gawd that was the most tortuous session I've ever had. I basically lost every move I have and I had to practice from the basics.

t.i.r.i.n.g.  a.s   h.e.l.l

After practicing, we went to s11 to chill and Makan for 30 mins.

And yes, sure as hell I miss you dy. I'm just saying in case you were missing me HAHA just to let you know that I feel the same.

Meeting dy tmr to chill and draw and have dinner, definitely looking forward to it, seeya dy :>

Peace! - Jordan.

I have no idea why

Getting pissed so easily these days... whats wrong?

23,24,25,26,27,28,29/6/14 = AWESOME

hello! I'm back with more blogging! YAY! aren't you guys (my readers (if there's any)) happy?!!!

Alright, this week was pretty awesome thou, sneaked out to chill with Wong and then after that I slept at his house till 430pm. i know i know, i caught the pig habit. haha!

Then on weds, I went on a date with Amanda AKA Dy, we watched Tfios (which was not as good as i expected it to be, it was pretty boring, yall might think that Im not into romance movies but i am ok, I like romance movies pretty much because i can learn their moves, you know. :>>>  HAHA JUST KIDDING) so before the movie, dy and i shared a large strawberry + banana smoothie, and then bought another one into the theater. it's too good you know hahah unbearable to not drink it at all.

On friday, i went to meet dy at Temasek Poly because she wanted me to meet her friends (PAZAKU).
I must say that they were fun to hang out with because they were open and it is always fun to chill with people like them. you'll never get bored. t.r.u.s.t  m.e.
so dy and i went back at 1030 to reach home in time. well, i didnt technically reach home in time because i had to cycle my ass home hahahahahaha!
alright, so it was 330am and i was cycling to meet dy around 5km away, risking my life because any car would just ram into me. cycling uphill for 5 kilometers aint a joke. NOT AT ALL. my legs were pretty much weak after i reached my destination.
we cabbed to Kai's house (which was fucking amazing and nice) and then had lots of fun talking and eating and talking and eating and then finally sleep. Dy was sleeping on my chest thou, hahah it felt good dy :D so we all woke up at 1030 in the morning and then we ordered MacDonalds for breakfast. So we spent our time talking and eating for 8 hours in Kai's house. After that Dy and i went home and the others went to pasir ris to eat dinner.

 And yea, my week was pretty much completed. awesome right? i know, i know.


*notice*
the reason why i did not mention the other days is because i was chilling/breaking with the usual boys (Gerry, Shawn Ho and Marcus Wong)

Life

Soooo right now, I have no idea what am I doing with my life.

I'm addicted to cigarettes, too nice and too fucking lazy.

I have (sort of) noticed the negative things that are going on and I couldn't have done that without Dy's help.

She has been pushing me through this whole thing and well, I've gotten something done. Thank you so very much, I appreciate the work you have done 

And you definitely are the positive force that keeps me going.

I needed a lil love and encouragement from my love ones. Well, that is all I can ask for.

There are so many things in life for me to improve on such as, conversing, expressing, emphasizing on words, speaking slowly, body language, posture,  tonality, my personality. So many things that I can't even list down all of them.

I'll just hope for the best and try to improve on a daily basis. 

- Jordan 

Introduction

   Hi,

   My name is Jordan Lam, now, please allow me to describe how my face looks like. (if not skip to the part where I'm not talking about how my face looks like haha) (oh yes and I may brag about my features a little)

 okay so, I have the stereotypical small ass Asian eyes with double eye lids and greyish non-thick eyebrows, a "higher than normal" nose bridge, a nostril that can potentially expand into thumb size and a sexy mouth that my parents gave me ;)


HERE'S WHERE I STOP TALKING ABOUT MY FACE.
Now here's what's going on with my life. I'm a seventeen year old handsome boy that doesn't give a shit (well not exactly) I'm an aspiring artist (and also lazy but cant seem to do a shit about it) , I'm studying in the Institute of Technical Education College Central in short ITECC. I'm in pursuit of a 3.8 GPA (well i wanted to type in "4" but its not realistic because im lazy as hell even thou 0.2 doesn't really make a diff.) and I'm in a course called Digital Animation, well basically it teaches me how to animate shit and turn it into life. It may sound easy but it's hard as fuck, Imagine drawing the same exact thing for 40 times (or even more). I'm a bboy and I've been breaking for 2 years.
oh yes I'm dating a lovely girl who's now watching me blog on skype. (the best part is, we have the same goal, well just that I'm a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit lazier. )

I'm not gonna talk about my past because, what's the point? right?

how does one blog haha i still dont know.

The fucking end.